It has been a good week so far this week taking a break in life, getting some time off from the job and being able to work on some projects at home and get caught up on chores.  Every year between Christmas and New Years, my life takes on a deeper tone of reflection as I think about the high points and low points of the last year, and I try to pick out a few things I want to improve in my life in the coming year.  I try to make time in the holiday break useful, and tell myself I will redeem it wisely each year, but inevitably it seems I fritter much of the break away as I swim in the boundlessness of my undefined time and the lack of schedule in the week.

Tonight I think about this tendency in my life, which thinking about the break only brought to light- that when I lack direction and purpose in my daily life, I tend to drift and bobble around on life’s breakers.  If I were a craft on the seas, my sails would be down, my engine silenced, and the bridge and chart house empty.

I bring this up because I realize in my own life, the noise of living can become so great, and the bustle of busyness and the din of life’s demands so domineering that I forget what it sounds like to be me.  I forget what it looks like for me to be living like the person I was made to be.  I forget to pay attention to the one voice in the noise who has never failed to give me strength and who has always filled me with light and hope when circumstances and situations extol otherwise.  I forget to pay attention to the One in my life who is the lighthouse in my life, who helps me to see where I should be headed as I navigate questions and decisions, who illuminates the bars and reefs beneath me that would tear the bottom out of my life if they might, who glows as a reminder that I have a destination before me in my life, and a reason (and a hope) for my passage through this world.

Tonight, I am reminded that my closest friend and my brightest brother still stands at both the center of my life and on its peripheries, shedding light on it for me, highlighting where our Father is working, or wants to be working, in the territories of my heart and my experiences.  I am reminded that Jesus is not just the mascot of an annual festival, or a charm bracelet pendant representing a spiritual glee club, but rather, He is the One who made me and who is with me in all of my days, whether the rain falls and floods my life out or the sun stands and scatters light across my existence, buoying my being.  He is the One who is ever-present, intimate and consoling, while He is also infinitely immense and commanding, too great for me to behold and to comprehend.  But He has made me, and He has told me that He loves me, and that He will keep me in life’s storms.

Tonight, I am reminded that, in every day, I need the wisdom of God to guide me, and the power of life in His Son to fill me anew.

I am reminded that, in this life, in every day to yet come, I need to look beyond myself, across the turbulent sea of my life and its trials and triumphs, and keep a constant eye on Him as I weigh the meaning and mystery of all things.  He is the One who makes all clear, who settles the seas, and clarifies the constants in life.

Lord, help me to keep my eyes on You as I navigate through each day, trusting You to make meaning and to direct my decisions as I try to live from Your perspective.  You are my Lighthouse- I need Your light and love glowing from the center and the borders of my existence to help me choose to live the best life I possibly can.  And that best life can only come as I try to live each day, each moment, in You.

Amen.