Yesterday was a good day. I got a fair amount accomplished on a project at work, and the day was quiet. My boss has been out this week doing home projects, so it has been more empty back in the back area of the office where I work.

I guess the biggest news of the day was getting a two-megaton email from the girl that startled me in the morning. In the past, until even recently, the email would have sent me into an anxiety spiral. By God’s grace, it did not. I guess I am adjusting to moving on. I’m still not sure what to do with the invitation in the note, and whether it is necessary. I’ve loved the girl for a while, but I’ve also been immaterial in her life for nearly nine months, and so an invitation to connection and conversation is fraught with potential dangers for me. She will still be beautiful. Should I see her, my heart will still long to be close to her. I am not sure there is enough in her email that makes me believe she actually cares a jot for me. I simply wonder whether her invitation is simply to appease something in her mind. I don’t know. Jesus just says to love those who hurt you. She is my sister in Christ. And I have been stuck on her for so long. And emotionally, related to her, I am drained, because I have experienced few returns from an investment in her in the past. I am just trying to hear God’s lead on this, and to leave her on the altar before Him. I know it’s the only way I could ever have a vital relationship with her again.

I did go over to Sportsmen’s Warehouse after work last night and picked up some basic fishing accessories- baits, terminals, hooks. Since Scott gave me a pole for my birthday and many of my new friends like to fish, it’s a worthwhile investment. I met my friend Thearith (Tim) Ung there. Thearith has become a close friend though Sagebrush Highland. He is from Cambodia, and as a child fled the country with an uncle to find a better life. He and his wife love Jesus sincerely and have the gift of hospitality. They are a couple who really work at loving people around them. Tim has been a blessing in my life, and he and his family are a treasured addition to the church.

I spent last night afterwards at home for the first time in, like, two weeks. I cleaned a little and did some laundry.

This morning I read two more chapters in Deuteronomy- 11 and 12. Again, God is adamant- if you want to walk with Him, find out who He is and what is important to Him, and bend your life to please and obey Him. That is how you love Him. Over and over in the Pentateuch, He says “If you obey me, life will go well for you.” A worthwhile command to remember. Basically, He is saying “If you are going to love me, this is how to do it.”