I don’t have much else today either.

I can’t tell the difference between trees, guns, or car engines.

I listened to Michael McDonald’s “Take it to Heart” today for the first time in a long time and recalled how mesmerized I was with that drum track the first time I heard it.

I felt like my thoughts were overwhelmingly slow and sluggish today, and that my life is so unproductive and sad.

I read a blog post by a friend on “Thirteen Reasons Why” and suicide and her take on failed messages given to kids today by society, and she said God loves you deeply, kids, and I was grateful to hear that from her, and appreciate her transparency with her won struggles in the past, and I said Amen, sister, quietly in my brain.

I have felt warm and not real awake all day and I come here to write something late, and all the words are banal and bland.

The Cubs ilost and the Lobos also lost to a surging Air Force team, so baseball was a flop today.

I started a story for this site and realized I did not have very good details to form it and I got frustrated with it and threw it away.

I thought about how you have to have something in life others need for them to really like and need you, and how I have so little. I make hardly anything myself and am tired all the time and I am not a handy guy and I live out of a closet somewhere in my chest cavity, trying to not mess up the rest of the house, and I am sad about that.

I am a tumbleweed in the fall.

I have been super tired today and wish I was a better and a better-liked person and am nearing 50 and am melancholic- that circuit of sadness- and am going to take my senseless brain to bed.

We all fall down. It’s the gettin’ back up that really counts.