Back on December 30th of last year, I wrote about perhaps the biggest frustration I face as I try to live my life- and it is my regular fight with passivity.

I stated then that I knew the problem with it I was having, and that I just needed to be more assertive with how I managed and oriented my life.

We are nearly a month later, and tonight I found myself wondering- well, perhaps not wondering, but curious as to how much, if at all, I was living my life differently.

I am still pretty persuaded that I am in the driver’ seat- but I have not started the engine. I am not moving.

I think about this concept frequently as daily life rolls by, because I hear the clock ticking now. My body doesn’t act or recover, or even work, like it did twenty, 10 years ago.

I feel frailty.

I won’t chastise myself here.

But not much has changed. I haven’t really changed anything about my life in the last month.

A case in point- I bought a daytimer at year-end to organize and manage and to keep in front of me the schedule of my days, and as a tool to help me think out into the future and plan more in my life.

I haven’t even used it for anything yet.

I did tell myself I would be committed to doing two new things daily this year, though, and I have at least remained consistent in those tasks: reading a chapter a day in the New Testament, and writing a post on here every day.

Still, I need to get a better view from the driver’s seat here. And start the engine. And move off of this driveway sometime soon.